Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
