I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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