this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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