i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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