Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
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i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize