When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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