I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
