I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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