She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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