I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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