Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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