Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
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Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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