I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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