How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I need moral support for this bender
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
