i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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