if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
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Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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