And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize