Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize