Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
