Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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