I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize