So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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