what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
