let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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