I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize