I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
