So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
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Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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