margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
