Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize