whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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