Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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