There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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