Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
They took my balls.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
