They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
