Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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