how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
