Im at strip club and am horny
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
