he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
