i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
