For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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