I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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