i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.