He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...