Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.

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  (213): she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down. http://tfl.nu/is1d
  Replies (1) Good night (1576) Bad night (623)
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  (212): View more from New York

  dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  idk but i think it had a face

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  (212): dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night? (1-212): idk but i think it had a face http://tfl.nu/y33v
  Replies (15) Good night (826) Bad night (1486)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?

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  (770): if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay? http://tfl.nu/7tcb
  Replies (53) Good night (1209) Bad night (12420)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

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  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (29085) Bad night (1257)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."

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  (412): I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people." http://tfl.nu/j747
  Replies (13) Good night (1881) Bad night (4699)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.

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  (973): she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery. http://tfl.nu/316x
  Replies (36) Good night (7459) Bad night (1007)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.

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  (857): Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility. http://tfl.nu/agqx
  Replies (39) Good night (1446) Bad night (4382)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms

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  (785): He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms http://tfl.nu/p81e
  Replies (12) Good night (856) Bad night (3785)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.

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  (425): I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help. (1-425): I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity. http://tfl.nu/3ise
  Replies (4) Good night (1535) Bad night (639)
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  (209): View more from California

  Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?

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  (209): Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that? http://tfl.nu/3r87
  Replies (9) Good night (2906) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...

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  (231): Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans... http://tfl.nu/n7qg
  Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"

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  (404): No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party" http://tfl.nu/5res
  Replies (5) Good night (1011) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"

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  (518): So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?" http://tfl.nu/8ua3
  Replies (2) Good night (286) Bad night (489)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw

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  (416): He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw http://tfl.nu/7ku2
  Replies (8) Good night (339) Bad night (596)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall

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  (719): Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall http://tfl.nu/gilf
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (153)

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