Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge

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  (305) 1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge http://tfl.nu/8lgu
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

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  (570): I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried http://tfl.nu/vdpu
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  (925): View more from California

  My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive

  (510): View more from California

  wats the point then?

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  (925): My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive (510): wats the point then? http://tfl.nu/1ckn
  Replies (30) Good night (531) Bad night (4535)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.

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  (817): i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby. http://tfl.nu/i81q
  Replies (101) Good night (5588) Bad night (1586) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table

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  (330): It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table http://tfl.nu/2wbi
  Replies (24) Good night (871) Bad night (3747) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?

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  (773): How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom? http://tfl.nu/o0zg
  Replies (42) Good night (1805) Bad night (5307) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.

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  (502): he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult. http://tfl.nu/fe1g
  Replies (26) Good night (702) Bad night (3089) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.

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  (603): I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression. http://tfl.nu/ii3j
  Replies (7) Good night (1328) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1528) Bad night (353)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes

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  (216): Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes http://tfl.nu/70ll
  Replies (5) Good night (741) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved

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  (512): Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved http://tfl.nu/jelh
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens

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  (505): on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens http://tfl.nu/9djh
  Replies (1) Good night (1339) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions

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  (951): Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions http://tfl.nu/xeve
  Replies (4) Good night (814) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  its good to be home.

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  (985): drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye. (985): its good to be home. http://tfl.nu/5qd5
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (139)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.

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  (609): I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room. http://tfl.nu/he9i
  Replies (8) Good night (454) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt

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