Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?

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  (908): i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking? http://tfl.nu/grwd
  Replies (2) Good night (1132) Bad night (598)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

  (1-972): View more from Texas

  I want to be a cop.

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  (972): I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party. (1-972): I want to be a cop. http://tfl.nu/ucz6
  Replies (104) Good night (23953) Bad night (1019)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.

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  (336): Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh. http://tfl.nu/7dtp
  Replies (34) Good night (834) Bad night (3618)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

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  (630): wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them? http://tfl.nu/up3m
  Replies (10) Good night (630) Bad night (3451)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.

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  (817): look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now. http://tfl.nu/dr20
  Replies (14) Good night (3928) Bad night (1393)
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  (408): View more from California

  that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it

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  (408): that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it http://tfl.nu/gsrb
  Replies (5) Good night (3874) Bad night (887)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.

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  (785): Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up. http://tfl.nu/s8n4
  Replies (14) Good night (2747) Bad night (1052)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.

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  (519): I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy. http://tfl.nu/1qel
  Replies (22) Good night (6105) Bad night (1248)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.

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  (773): If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one. http://tfl.nu/q8n4
  Replies (12) Good night (802) Bad night (1165)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.

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  (610): i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship. http://tfl.nu/plr7
  Replies (7) Good night (1167) Bad night (685)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night

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  (315): I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night http://tfl.nu/ggh6
  Replies (4) Good night (552) Bad night (1763)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.

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  (281): When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down. http://tfl.nu/j4so
  Replies (2) Good night (1180) Bad night (361)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.

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  (775): Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers. http://tfl.nu/u3nj
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (303)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it

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  (267): I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it http://tfl.nu/ro1j
  Replies (0) Good night (425) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.

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  (559): They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts. http://tfl.nu/pgwh
  Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (332)

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