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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon

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• (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

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• (323): View more from California

  Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If I was 5 years younger and single...

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She STILL wouldn't fuck you.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.

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• (916): View more from California

  There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE

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• (518): View more from New York

  So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.

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