i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This is the high leading the old right now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize