a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Duck Duck Cougar?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
