Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
