Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize