she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize