Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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