Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
