I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
