He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
