I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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