I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
