I faked an abortion last night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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