That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
