And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
