I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
