if i can run in heels then i can drive
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
