Got a toothbrush?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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