The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
