She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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