Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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