woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
