He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
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You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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