she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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