Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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