I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize